take me back
i am sitting here feeling as though i would rather be dead. everytime i swallow my throat is stabbed with knives. i would like to cry. my nose is all stuffly and running. yes, those are my only two problems but the throat thing is so bad it's like taking over my life. i can't do anything comfortably anymore. i have to go now. i wish i had my mama and i wish i could skip class but i really can't.
If I could tell the world just one thing
on my way here, i accidentally typed bloggers.com and got all freaked out that blogger had changed itself again. then i realized i needed to lose the s, phew. i'm eating oatmeal right now (not my dog) and`it's the first time i made it here and my bowl melted. so now i'll probably get styrofoam poisening. yesssss. well looks to me as though it is time for some clizass.
i am sad. this has been a saddish week. carolyn is sad as well. i wish monkey boy would love me bahahahah. i wish i didn't lose friends. i wish i could fly and read people's minds and turn back time, you know, shizzle like that. oh dang. hah i almost forgot to put the g on that. it would've been oh dan. who's dan? bahahah. well anyway, my parentals might be coming to visit me this weekend, hoorah. i want them to bring otis. I MISS OTIS. witha burning passion in my heart. i could do my french homework right now, but i don't feel like it. and that leaves me with nothing to do. therefore i am bored. boy, do i love the dixie chicks. i just made up a word: thogu. atleast tomorrow is thursday, hoooooray. only one class! i think i'll go do something really unproductive now like play solitaire or snood or wallow in depression under my pillow.
today all i did was eat, lay in bed and watch movies and the oc. i was not feeling well at all this morning, maybe had a little too much fun last night. so after not enjoying my omelette at breakfast, which i usually do, especially since it was made by ray, i came back to my room and slept in nicki's bed/watched 10 things i hate about you. until around 4 when me and leah went to carolyn's and watched the oc. went to dinner, came back and watched 3 more oc episodes. then i came back here and did nothing till now and although it's after midnight it's really not.
I LOVE RAMEN AND I LOVE FRANK'S RED HOT SAUCE. together they make a marvelous, amazing, fantastical dinner. peace.
no kyle offered me cookies. nicki and jake are in a fight right now. i can't handle it. oh dear me. i must go goodbye bloggie friend.
i miss the times when i used to post everyday. when i used to ditch school and go to starbucks or to BR or home and hang out with otis. i miss the sunshine and warmth of a spring day. i need spring. but oh wait unfortunately with the nor'easter heading this way i don't believe i'll be seeing that spring sunshine anytime soon. i miss so much stuff. i could go on forever. i miss when i was like 5 and would climb up the backway to friendly's with my grandma. who is sadly no longer with us. i miss BR, i miss going there everyday, doing my homework there, hanging out there everynight. i miss town. i miss driving my car everywhere. i miss my house. i miss my otis. i miss driving to school in the morning and listening to music and having the traffic cop direct us in. i miss lunch and the senior caf and eating outside. i miss the narcs. i miss visiting joe. i miss coming back from vacation and being depressed. i miss weight training. i miss spicy chicken days. i miss peanut butter and nutella or bagel with cream cheese every other day of my life. actually i don't miss those that much, but still it's the thought. i miss old cheerleaading practice...sort of. without the sucky parts of it. i miss nat's guest house, and cheer sleepovers and foursome sleepovers. wait, i miss the foursome so much. i miss the cruise. i miss youth group and good ski trips and good road trips like see spot rock and bushy hill and pochet island. i miss meghan gleason. and laura suslavich and jess fields and kaitlin blanks and julia van loan and all those old people who i was never really that close with but close enough to miss them now. i miss track practice and doing half the work out and tanning the rest of the time. i miss new canaan's track. i miss new canaan and fate. i miss fate the person. i miss mr. otterspoor, a teeeny bit. no, i lied. i miss graduation day. i miss high school dances. i miss prom. i miss the summer. i miss the IC. i miss gina and joe and evelyn and rachel and jack and grace and sal and everyone. i miss the post-graduation party. I MISS PRD. i miss church. i miss evan's house. oddly, i don't miss evan or his family that much, just his house. i miss when times were different, when they were happier. when certain people were happier. as i said before i could go on forever, so i'm gonna stop myself here. oh wait. i miss FCIACS. i just thought of that one
yes, today i was kicked off the cheerleading team, for reasons i'm not even that sure of myself. all i know is that i'm done. and the only thing that bothers me about it is that everyone else still on the team will think i'm some kind of bad person or something or hold a grudge or start rumors about me. other then that, i'm good to go. so tonight i plan on playing solitaire, watching the oc and stuffing my face during the hours of 6-8 when i would normally be at practice. thanks for listening, kids.
yes, that's right people, i am married, i do have a husband and we have been married for about 3 years. he is a wonderful guy. i just love him oh so very much. i haven't seen him in a while, well actually i did see him kinda recently and it was very sad and hard to leave him because it was so wonderful to see him and then i had to leave. i was with the dear old wonderful suz and we went to visit him, jo and nathan at nathan's house. it was a good time, he kept hitting me with a nutcracker thing and then we had a little fight and i totally knocked him to his feet. it was so sweet. now that i think about it, it was all because those little biatches didn't show up at bowling like they promised they would because it was the last time i was going to see them, because i was leaving to come back HERE the next day. anyway, it was good to see them and specially my amazing and wonderful husband trevie. then we had to leave cause it was really late and we kidnapped trevie and drove down the road with him and i wished he could stay with us cause i love him oh so much and our two wonderful children jr. and jr. jr. i'm just happy that's he safe and warm in cali and not in danger of getting shot anymore. well i have to go to bed. but i just wanted everyone to know the wonders of my loving and amazing husband trevor g. williams.
i have realized that my blog is not fun nor interesting anymore. it has lost all its humor, sarcasm and joyousness. i do not know why. when it first began i loved it, and of course i still do, but it is different now. throughout the years it became less and less interesting, but still while i was in high school it was good. now that i am here it is nothing. possibly because i miss blogging from the confines of the library in early morning frees and observing the sad, rich kids wander amislessly through not only the library but life itself. perhaps it is because people actually used to read this and exclaim with joyous laughter how funny it was. maybe it is because my other blogs have died and with them has gone the soul of my true original bloggie love of my life. this entry has been so deep, i am not sure what to do with myself. because while it has been deep, it has also been funny in so many ways, i myself am laughing inside. but that my friends is a story for another day. hah, i always wanted to say that.
