howdy doo. i'm babysitting right now. it's quite insaneness. the 10 yr old boy has said maybe 2 words to me the whole time, because he's glued to the playstation. and the little 2 yr old girl won't leave me alone and i just wanted to do my math homework but i guess i'll have to do it tonight after church. why can't kids just watch tv or something for a little while and not bother me. well zack is doing a fine job of that, but shannon is like miss hyper insanity. oh well.

this afternoon i went to prd with suz and kaity. supposedly she spells her name kaity. i think that's kinda weird but whatev. well i'm kinda bored now so i'll guess i'll go back to entertaining shannon.

actually, i'm going to tell about last night. Brendan's play was the laramie project which was about matthew shepard. it was very good but a little confusing. me and laur didn't really follow the whole thing. but we fell in love with this kid named ben. (we fall in love with a new person every play we go to) and his last name is like guhin or something, but i just call him ben goonface, cause brendan told us about how much of conceited jerk he is. and how he had an ugly girlfriend. so then brendan introduced us and embarresed real badly by saying "these two girls are kinda disappointed that you have a girlfriend". and ben was like uhh, so me and laur were like well nice knowing you brendan we gotta go and ran out like full speed, planning murder attacks on brendan for embarresing us so. then we drove around aimlessly up and down the highway for a while and tried to get ahold of wynn or someone to tell us how to get to max's party. but that never worked out, so we went back to prep and found brendan and stated that we were going to the cast party with him. he refused, but we wouldn't leave him alone, so finally we he said fine. so we followed the cast party caravan to this crazy kid's house and we drove kyle to. he's a model ahahahhhhahhahhah. modelteenz.com for his pic. he's quite a foolish kid, but rather hilar and nice. and he took of his jacket while mooning people in my car and i stole it from him and i'm wearing it right now and psh, he ain't getting it back. so then we went to the cast party and met all these cool peeps and like the rape guy and the shaking guy and this kid named gov and such, and luckily ben didn't come because we would've been embarresed since we just looked like fools in front of him. and we did wall dances with this teacher and he was the coolest teacher EVER. and we listened to toxic over and over and over and wall danced, as previously mentioned, and table dances and it was the most fun i've ever had in a long while. and no one was even drinking which was the best part. and laura made me a special bracelet, so i was tres happy about that. cause brendan, kyle and me all tried and we all broke them cept for laur case she is the master. well shannon is calling me to read a book, so i'm peacing out. ohhh and we also me this INSANE kid named john weed. and he was like soooo crrrazy. and weird. and people were like we love weed, we love weed. and he was like i know you love me, and they were like no we love marajuana (did i spell that right? oh well) and it was funny cause he was a freak. peace out mwa mwa.

this is my schedule for the day:
1. mall
2. GIGA
3. Brendan's fairfield prep play
4. max's party
5. SLEEP!!

yay, what fun!

"nasty, put some clothes on i told ya, don't walk out your house without your clothes on i told ya" ahha word.

today i have offically eaten too much food. after school i went to PRD and had like a huge breakfast meal and now i'm eating garden catering p. cones. damn they're good. whyyyy?? tonight we have practice BLAHHH. i need to call betsy bootstrap...where is that girl, yo. well i must be on my way toodles and mwa to all. except a few. bahhah.

AWWWW.


he's just so dang cute. sorry, ryan loses. seth is just too darn hott.



oh dear i am just so overwhelmed by his loveliness and i've only seen the OC once.

in world lit. seminar we are watching life is beautiful. i forgot how good a movie that was. and the little boy in it is soo freakin' adorable. it's just getting to the sad part today. i can't believe tomorrow is friday already! what joy. hmm.

last night we saw the passion of the christ. it was tres good. very very gory in some parts though. i covered my eyes through most of it and yes, i did cry and napkins came in handy so i recommend just bringing a big box of tissues. but everyone should go see it. it really shouldn't be as controversial as it is, it's not such a big deal. and the critics are pretty dumb. they say soo many untrue things.

this is my poem:
hours....talking....every night....maybe it's true....hopes up....brighter, brighter, brighter....BOOOM!....explosion....gone...darkness...forever
(excerpt from the little red book)
peace.

since when did you become my mother? eh, stop your bawling. hey?! who asked you?

i'm just sending out a prayer for the world, God, cause as if i didn't know how much we needed you before hand i just got a rude awakening!

that's my cigar

yearning for grace and hoping for peace, dear God increase. healing hands of God have mercy on our unclean souls once again. Jesus Christ, light of the world, burning bright within our hearts forever. freedom means love without condition, without a beginning or an end. here's my heart, let it be forever Yours. only You can make every new day seem so new!!!!!!!!!!!!

These wounds won't seem to heal. this pain is just too real. there's just too much that time cannot erase.

i sit here. eating glazed doughnuts and water. natalie caressing my face. last night kendall, nat and i watched three movies. brokendown palace, holes and blow. i will have to say that i still like holes the best. i'm just that kinda person. natalie of course likes those weird end up bad movies. i like the happy endings. i also enjoy taking refuge in god's thumb.

last night we went to dinner at tequila mockingbird and then to the boy's b-ball game at new canaan. we lost sadly and badly. but it was fun to actually be a fan for once. the first time in 3 years i didn't go in uniform. kendall is watching over my shoulder now and it's making me uncomfortable. wouldn't it be funny if i said that to her and she said she couldn't read? hahah just like hector zarroni. who by the way is adorable. me and ken have decided to adopt him and make out with louis. i always call shia labouf louis cause that's what i've always known him as. oh the good old days of louis and ren. remember when that show first came out? it was so exciting, back in the day.

i think we're going tanning now. yay cancer. see you folks lata.

HEYYY. my little blogging friend. vermont was kinda fun at most times. on saturday we ate dinner at the sirloin saloon and it was sooo yummy. on sunday we went cross country skiing which wasn't very fun, but we just did it to make my mom happy. on monday i went snowboarding and was hoping for a hottie teacher in my lesson, but my guy wasn't hott. but he was british and really cool. his name was chris and he said wicked every 5 words and told us to be like monkeys on the loo. today we just drove home. well we stopped at keene state and was gonna look around but we didn't actually. we ate at lindy's diner and i realized that if i end up going to keene state i'm going to have to grow a mullet and lose some teeth. oh well. it shan't be too hard to do that. bah. that's about all i have to say at this moment. toodles.

ahhaha LFO. always wondered what that stood for. some said light funky ones, others said lame fart knockers (even though the last letter is O not K haha) i love old school boy bands. happy suck my face day.

ahh friday the 13th, how very scary. today was the first day of my intro to journalism class...what fun. it is full of froshies. including brianna wallace, court rogers and that dumb kid who threw a football at my windshield. now i can get him....ahahha. i told him i forgave him though, cause he said he had ADHD and that's why he was running in the middle of the road, and could accuse me of almost running over his foot, which i didn't and therefore found it reasonable to throw the football at my windshield. but that was long ago anyway, so i have dimissed it.

sooo i concur that tomorrow will be another enjoyable singles night filled with sushi and lizzie mcguire. actually it won't, cause i'll be in VT. and degrassi soooo replaces lizzie when i have access to it. plus as of right now i'm not in the sushi mood, but that of course is subject to change. today was my first trip to the cancer box. twas fun. the lady who owns the place is freaky. there is reason to believe she may live in the tanning beds at closing time. i cannot explain my excitement for spring break, but first i need to get through winter.

as of right now i feel like vomiting. it might be because of all the chinese food and hershey's kisses i ate tonight. but i think it's for another reason. savion glover is my man. the commercial with him is on right now and i want him. he amazes me to no end. and in person he's even cooler, specially making large puddles with his sweat. if i don't see you tomorrow morn, i will see you all after my little unwanted trip to vermont. mwa.

AHAHA. evil laughter.

"see, I don't know why, I like you so much
I gave you all of my trust
I told you, i loved you
now that's all down the drain
you put me through pain
I wanna let you know how I feel

f*ck what I said it don't mean shit now
f*ck the presents might as well throw them out
f*ck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
f*ck you, you (man) ho, I don't want you back

you questioned, did I care
you can ask anyone
I even said you were my great one
now its over but I do admit im sad
it hurts real bad
I can't sweat that cuz I loved a (man)ho"

thanks to the radio and abbie. that song is the bomb diggity.

10 YEAR HS REUNION....HERE I COME!!!

"someday you'll pay"

desecrate:
To violate the sacredness of; profane.

"you don't know how much i need you. when you're near me i don't feel blue. and when we hug i know you feel it too. can't believe i found a love that's so pure and true. but it all was bullshit. it was a gosh darn joke. and when i think of you (insert name here) i hope you f*cking choke. i hope you're glad with what you've done to me. i live in bed all day long feeling melancholy. you left me here all alone. tears running constantly. oh somebody kill me please. somebody kill me please. i'm on my knees. pretty pretty please. kill me. i want to die. put a bullet in my head."

i was looking in the archives to see what was going on at this time last year and i found that one year ago yesterday this was happening:

the mall was a grand old time. we laughed a lot at some kids falling down steps and this one girl had her pant leg stuck in her boot and it was soooooo annoying, i just wanted to rip it out. but then it finally fell out, phew.

i think the only other person who can appreciate that besides me is laura. so laugh on faggity foo.

"tell me, just what you want me to be."

today was grand. we got out of practice an hour early. me and laur went to br. but before getting ice cream, bryan made us go get him cigerettes. i did not want to do this, but i thought whatev and so we went on our mission. the first gas station looked at my liscense and was like no sorry. peace out. so then we went to another place on they way laura cut some guy off and we almost died. fun times. but the next guy, chi, was way cool. he was puerto rican and let us buy the cigerettes. but he didn't believe that they weren't for us. that angered me. what else angered me is that he guessed our ages. he said i was 17 and laura was 19. why the hell does people always think shes older then me? shes like 10 feet shorter. but whatev. so then we went back got our ice cream, hid bryan's lighter to annoy him and left.

tomorrow is hump day and i'm really excited. we don't have any practice after tokeneke which elates me. i once wrote a poem in 8th grade called elated monkeys. i will find it and post it for y'all later. i know you will enjoy it. there is a commercial that just came on with a lady saying, "living with genital herpes is a nightmare..." i found that quite humorous. my dad changed the channel. obviously he did not. otis is sleeping soundly upon the bed. i wish to kiss his nose. he's such a muffin, why does he have to bite people? thursday of this week is the junior senior b-ball game. gay. we might cheer for halftime. gay. faggity ann. oh laur. homeless terry bernard is such a faggot. abbie and laura make up wonderful things for me. i cannot wait until vacation. i am going to get cancer everyday. and guess what, i'm excited for it. i cannot help my addiction. no. i cannot. neither can kendall or natalie or any others who wish to join us. laura will be busy getting fresh cancer in california, while i have to settle for boxed cancer. oh well. it'll do.

this has become quite a long entry. longer then expected. i will begin the termination process. i had home fries for breakfast. they were from mama carmela's. damn. they were good. how i would enjoy a plate of them at this very moment. but alas. i am home fry-less. i don't believe anyone will read as far as this. therefore, i will now end my entry. goodbye cruel cruel world. the bucket of water has officially been dumped on my head. oh what a world what a world. i guess we are no longer in kansas, otot. whoa. that's like toto backwards. but short for otis. impressive. i might add.

i am so stinkin' bored. i had a sub for world lit. so we just read the whole time. then i had a free where i looked at pictures of the butterfly effect and freaked out and then i did my math homework. now i have another free and nothing to do....ahhh.

how adorable is this kid?
*my pictures broke...gosh dang it*
hehe he's just so cute. he is the young evan from the butterfly effect. i'm actually really glad that i saw that movie. it was a really good movie, just freakin' scary and intense.
*go look at the website if you wanna see how hott he is*
this is evan at age 13. he is strangely hott. just don't look at the weird looking girl on the side.
ok fine i lied. i am obsessed with this movie. everyone should go see it. just bring a blanket and pillow for protection and comfort.

oh hooray the bell rang. peace.

suzanna is here, she is downstairs watching aladdin prince of thieves with the miss.'s kids. my dad is doing some studio business stuff with them or something. i was just at church for like 2 hours, just singing in that room where we have sunday school. it is so fun to sing in a mike. i just sang and sang and sang. sometimes i was joined by others. sometimes not. bahah. now i have a bit of work to do, but i think i want some soup or something. otis is locked in this room so he doesn't bite anyone. i can't believe it's back to school tomorrow. but atleast then i think after this week it's feb. break, if i'm not mistaken. hooray, tanning time!!! yay. mwa to y'all!!

ok recommendation: never see the butterfly effect. it was sooo scary, i was clenching laur and nat the whole freakin' time, either that or covering my eyes and ears. and ahh i'm ready for my nightmares tonight, better breakout that nightquil. but besides that comp. is over, rather not talk about it. i have to do homework tomorrow that i don't want to do and i'm bored and the butterfly effect....AHHH. oh man. ok. i'm done. my work here is done. everything is done.

been a while fools, or maybe only a day i don't remember. on monday i lifted so many weights in phys. therapy that i think i pulled a muscle in my arm, so now not only does my elbow hurt which the therapy was for, but now my arm kills when i bend it and thanks to the lovely britta, i look like a "battered wife" (s.lane) because she stands on my arm when we put libs up. which, i won't lie, i enjoy cause i look all badass and bruised, but it's getting to be a little too much now. there will be a featured picture later. so ya...comp is in a day and i'm reallly really excited and i think we can do alright, cause yesterday we finally finished the whole routine and then dance is cute and i think it's gonna be dandy!!!! and stunt team should go well too i hope. this is the most stunting i've ever done in my life, word. i will be so jacked!!! mwa.

*pictures broke....go to hell stupid pictures*
ta da!

OH BABY BABY!!

this was once a really hott college of ashton, but it seems the computer has decided to screw with everything i do and so it will not show up. sorry to disppoint you folks. peace.

bah, i am so bored and hungry and i still have another period before lunch time. there is a book next to me called the truth about the ku klux klan....i wonder who was looking at that. although that could be kinda interesting. i'm talking to lisa troj online cause i can't think of anything else to do. i did all the homework i could possibly do and that's about it. today is tuesday and i think we should do a little review of the upcoming things...

after this week is over there is competition on saturday and a valentine's dance that night, then there's another week. then after that week is vacay where i will be getting very tan! no comment on how baha. then there are 3 weeks and then 2 staff development days in a row in march then 2 more weeks and then CAPT testing where i get to sleep in until like 11 everyday then good friday where there is no school then another week and it's spring break AND I AM GOING ON A CRUISE WITH KENDALL'S FAM I AM SO FREAKIN EXCITED. and natalie coming too with her fam, and i don't have a fam, but it's ok cause i'm sarah wuthrich now!!! oh man, i can't contain my excitement!! AHH. alright, i must peace out, mwa!

OH MAN. i found a johnny depp site....just brace yourself.




this no hair thing is strangely attractive


mmmm

that is hott...


rrrarrrr


i must go take a breather now.

i like the way you move. i like that song, tis good. only the chorusy part though. my arm i think might fall off. i worked it out sooo much today at physical therapy for my elbow. it helps my joints be smoother or something and my elbow feels better, but my arm muscles are dead. i am in major pain right now just using my arm to type. oh well, stunting tonight will be hard. i am so hungry, but today started my diet, and so i need to shrink my stomach, specially after last night's meal. i think maybe i will have some goldfish. dang yo. i just felt like typing that. peeeace.

so i'm at this hell hole called school. we were just discussing ground hog day and there was a bit of dispute whether phil, the ground hog said it was gonna be spring or continue winter. i think spring is on it's way.

i actually enjoyed my world lit. sem. class today. it's very interesting and relaxing and i like having such a small class. i also am just sooo overjoyed for next period psychology to finish watching the wild child. that poor victor kid, i just wanna give him a big fat hug. he's so cute. i feel bad for him.
awwww.

toodles.

tonight i actually watched the superbowl. we had a little party at kendall's and had the BEST dinner i've ever had in a really really long time. it consisted of chicken fried steak (if you've never had that, you need to try it, no joke), mac and cheese, string beans, this really good white sauce stuff you put on the chicken fried steak, bread and iced tea. i have never felt so fat and full. well maybe i have, but oh well. so tomorrow starts my diet and my not spending anymore money for the rest of my life. oh dear. i would rather not go to school tomorrow, but i guess i don't exactly have a choice, so i'll just have to deal. DARN IT. i hope y'all enjoyed my pix of devon sawa, i sure did. bahhahhhhhhh. um ya. mwa mwa.


isn't he hott? sorta, well he's better looking then most peeps on the team. but aww isn't that so cute, they're hugging!!! YAY. happy men in tight pants.